Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
