The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
