Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
