They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
