sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
