Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
