I saw his package. It spoke to me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
