I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
