I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Help. Why am I so naked?
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