I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize