My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
