'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
