and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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