My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
