So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
