i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
