I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
