whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
