So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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