belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Terrible idea I love it
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
