Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
