Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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