Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
