I just cut my nipple shaving
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
