We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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