Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You can't motorboat a personality
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize