Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
