just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
