just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
