so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
