whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize