I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
