It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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