If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
