yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
