i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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