It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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