I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
