This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.