I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?