if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
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She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic