i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems