Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.

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  (612): I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch. http://tfl.nu/mufm
  Replies (8) Good night (588) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.

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  (310): Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches. http://tfl.nu/8y2o
  Replies (40) Good night (3022) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3701) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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  (252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed
  Replies (56) Good night (1924) Bad night (9510) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.

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  (217): I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex. http://tfl.nu/8evv
  Replies (65) Good night (3522) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.

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  (803): He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex. http://tfl.nu/kpvm
  Replies (4) Good night (4523) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better

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  (970): There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better http://tfl.nu/7u74
  Replies (3) Good night (2416) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading

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  (480): I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading http://tfl.nu/eqt2
  Replies (8) Good night (2025) Bad night (733)
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  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1500) Bad night (1972) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.

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  (262): Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene. http://tfl.nu/6cb0
  Replies (1) Good night (1133) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

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  (780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a
  Replies (8) Good night (1697) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend

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  (+44): I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ua0w
  Replies (11) Good night (2271) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.

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  (510): She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again. http://tfl.nu/2r7a
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (753)
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  (650): View more from California

  Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.

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  (650): Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days. http://tfl.nu/kjo1
  Replies (0) Good night (241) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.

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  (806): First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored. http://tfl.nu/7kgx
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt

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