someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway