Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.