Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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