I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
