You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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