So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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