On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
