we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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