Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
