I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
