So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
