Soap is not a condiment
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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