Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do vagina's smell?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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