Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
