I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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