I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
